The Weekend...

So today I hung out with my brother again. We went to our Grandparent's house and chatted with them for a while before going to the movie "Django Unchained", and what a film it was. Despite Christoph Waltz portraying his character almost exactly as he did his "Inglourious Basterds" one, it was quite riveting, but not necessarily in a good way. The film was tense at many times, and almost unbearable at others. It deals with cruelty, and doesn't apologize for it, but, it doesn't just show it either, it seems to shove it in your face. Leonardo DiCaprio is absolutely insane as a southern plantation owner, and his character keeps most of that tension I spoke of in the air.

Anyhow, after surviving Django, we went to meet our grandparents at "Luigi's Steakhouse" for pizza and wine. 

 

I like what they did with the place. I was at that very same location over 10 years ago, and it was dingy, cheap-looking, and run down. The pictures don't do it justice, but they really classed the place up. If I lived near there, I'd go there all the time, but alas my grandparents live 2 hours away from where I do!

Anyhow, we had a good time and me and my brother went home.

The Coffee-Philosophers.

So I went for coffee with my brother this morning. He's a fun guy to chat with, and we both have similar views on art and movies. As a matter of fact, we both have our eyes set on making movies one day, and he's actually going to school for directing pretty soon. He's also got an awesome blog located here 
for anyone who'd like to see an off-the-hook movie blog. Seriously, he's pretty out there, and swears like a drunken sailor while giving you his opinions about whatever he wants to talk about.

Anyhow we talked about movies and art and how movies and video games are trying too hard to appeal to the widest audience possible. It's a shame really, the more "free" people become, the more (it would seem) they get shallow and enjoy only the most cliche and dull forms of entertainment. My personal opinion is that people are bored and have all but given up on life. What is needed is some excitement, and that is pretty much what me and my brother want to do with our movies. Bring back the shocking and controversial form of art. Course by the time we get into films, controversial might be illegal.

There's a huge problem when you can't laugh at yourself, and this becomes "offense". The thing is, you can take anything the way you want to so, really, if someone says something about you and you take it as an insult, you've basically insulted yourself. Nothing's bad unless you decide it is, and I wish people would know and exercise that instead of adding hundreds of laws to the "politically-correct bible" to keep everyone feeling good about themselves. But again, there's a catch: if you don't feel good about yourself, you won't feel better if no one says anything about you, and (unless you want people to lie to you) you're out of luck until you accept yourself the way you are. Again, not till the world, your family, or other people accept who you are, YOU have to do the accepting, and then, as if by magic, you won't care even if people DO hate you.

To illustrate this point best I'd like to direct you fine folks to the following videos of one of my favorite comedians, Don Rickles. The thing about Don is he has fun, and sometimes that can mean he gets controversial, but you can sure tell when he encounters people who are completely fine with a little ball-busting, take a look:

Now in that one, he busts on David Letterman, Filipinos, his wife, and so on. Letterman does try to get Rickles to tone it down at various points, but I have the suspicion that it's only due to television censorshiop obligations, and NOT because Letterman himself wants Don to "keep it decent". The guy is having a great time, and it shows. 

In this next clip we see the same thing, only this time with Denzel Washington who, despite being the subject of a few racist jokes, is laughing his HEAD off, and I can't imagine him being sore or "hurt" at any point during the relentlessly funny foray of the Don.

This final clip is taken from when Don Rickles gave a toast to Martin Scorsese,  and once again, "Mr. Warmth" shows his respect and admiration for people with his humor. 

It has been said that the only time people feel insulted by Mr. Rickles, is when he doesn't insult them. Imagine that.

Dream Journal - 12/28/2012

So last night I had such a weird dream. I was in a hall of sorts- Not a hallway, but like a grand Hall building where community leaders meet or something like that. I was there with various members of my family and co-workers. Apparently, the place was under some kind of renovation.

Anyhow, I kept going around, exploring, mostly as an excuse to dodge work. I even got called out on my laziness at some point, but it was just too interesting for me to ignore the things going on. I remember people carrying something away (I think they had unearthed it at the far end of the hall) and it might have been an elephant carcass. Anyhow, As I watched them carry this thing out, I went around one of the tables, and it was actually a large log of wood; they had forced a live tiger to bite around the log, so that he was essentially prisoner to the log via his mouth. His exposed teeth were huge, and they were going to cut the teeth off, to make him less dangerous I guess. The tiger just stared forward fearlessly, and even contained as he was (there were four guys holding his body still, two holding his head to the log, and two others ready to cut the teeth), I still felt great respect for it's power.

That's all I can remember, but afterward I looked up some tiger pictures online and found a few that I really liked, hope you enjoy!

More Relics From The "Before-Time".

So, I'm still cleaning out my room and I've found more stuff. I'm starting to think I've lost some kind of creative genius in myself, because some of this stuff is really good. Anyhow, enjoy!

________________________

Now that Bob Dylan, he's a friend of mine,
And I've known him for many years.
He got me to widen up my intellect
And to open up my ears.
All of those who shout his greatness
By simply crying out his name,
They all seem a bit deluded
And a bit too obsessed with fame. 
Though me I hardly see the point
To bringing myself down low
On account of another fella here from
Desolation Row.

_________________________

"Every time I look in the mirror, the sky is breathing it's sacred tune."

_________________________

Poe a Tree.

Stickly/mangly

Outstretched from the

Pole;

Stuck to flat.

_________________________

"Probably the best I've ever written, but on the worst subject I've ever had to write about."

The Fat Cat.

So I found this piece of writing while cleaning out my room today. Turns out I can be just out of my mind if I want to, course as I recall, I wrote this particular 'piece' with a friend of mine, but still, it's making me wonder if I've ever done drugs...

Fat Cat!

1: You stole my hat!

2: I didn't do that,
Blame it on the
Fat cat!

1: Blame that cat!
Blame that cat!
He stole my hat!

2: Just like that.
- You could make it into a coat,
But it'd be more like a boat

1: 'Cause it'll float

2: 'Cause it's a fat cat,
Fat cat.

1: That cat!

2: It sure is fat!

1: Fat cat!
Fat cat!

2: The cat is fat.

1: Rhyme that

2: And that's that!

1: You can't even believe that
Fat cat!

2: What a cat

1: He's really fat

2: What kind of cat?
What kind of cat?

1: A fat cat,
Really fat

2: Fat cat
Fat cat

1: I can't even find that cat,
There's so much fat!

2:The cat is what?
The cat is what?

1: The cat is fat!
The cat is fat!

3: There's kids on my lawn
Doing some crazy rhyme about
A fat cat and won't stop.

1&2: The cat is what?
The cat is what?

3: It's a fat cat!
Fat cat!

All: Rhyme that!

*  *  *

3: Matt's fat?
Matt's fat?

1&2: No, the cat's fat!

3: Oh a fat cat,
Imagine that.

All: We're going back-to-back
With a fat cat-

No fat cat passes a
Black hat beside Matt
(Who ain't fat)

3: That's the cat!

1: You got that.

Everyone Gets What they THINK They Deserve...

Hey all, PAY ATTENTION! Secrets of the Universe stuff here...

So, I don't know how many of you are religious, but even if you believe in a vague notion of karma or justice, or some-such, there's something you ought to know: People (YOU included!) do NOT get what others think they deserve, they get what they themselves (or YOU) think they deserve deeeeep down.

Take me for example, I was complaining about the lack of gum sticks just a few blog-posts ago, and I really felt I not only wanted them for my own pleasure, I DESERVED them because they are AWESOME and I want awesome stuff in my life. Lo and behold, I found the elusive Juicy Fruit gum sticks at the SAME store that previously only sold the fruity piece-packs.
Now you might say "yeah but they didn't just appear, they were there all along" or some such nonsense as that and, let me tell you, as the one who actually WENT to the store and looked, take it from me that these gum sticks are a welcome new-addition of the old-style returning.

Physics...

Now I'd like to talk about the unconscious briefly to give you all some vague idea of what I'm talking about (though I know that the knowledgeable among you are simply nodding your heads), and that is this: 


the conscious mind (the one where you are aware, hopefully, of the fact that you're reading this right now) is VASTLY inferior to the cosmic and mysterious unconscious mind.

To illustrate, I use Sigmund Freud's diagram shown below.

You see? This is much like an ordinary farm Pig (the conscious) vs. an Elephant (the unconscious) when it comes to who will win over another, and who has the most influence.
Think of your beliefs and destiny as being led by that Elephant and your wants being in the hands of the Pig.

This is all theory of course, but I do believe that most of our 'self' if you will, is laying dormant simply influencing our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, reactions, and etc.

I won't go into details, but there has been much research (especially in overcoming addiction therapy) that leans heavily on this "other, hidden part" of our minds, recognizing it as the real reason we become or stay addicted to something, why we have bad days, why we do this, why we do that.
Basically, if you ever ask out loud "Why'd this have to happen?" or something like that, you are (in actual fact) trying to wake yourself up. The honest truth is this: Things happen because we MAKE them happen. Simple as that, and if you really wanted to get to the bottom of such questions, I'd suggest you actually look inwards, because the answers are ALWAYS there.

Call it what you will; consciously, we cannot overcome our nature. We can change it, but that is actually quite different. At any rate, I'm sure you're all very capable of looking this up if you're interested in learning more.

Lazy Saturday.

Good morning everyone! Hope the weekend is treating you well thus-far.

So last night I decided to do some film-watching and was able to watch "Giant" and "There Will Be Blood". Interestingly, both movies dealt with oil but that's about the extent of their similarities.

 First off, in searching for a James Dean movie I could actually stand I was directed to "Giant". Don't get me wrong, James Dean was phenomenal in this movie, and it definitely made me see his untimely demise as a robbery to audiences everywhere more than a simple tragedy, but the movie itself was dull and outdated. Most of the movie dealt with racism, and female independence. What I'd really have liked from this movie, however, was an exploration of James Dean's character. 

Basically the kid is a nobody and ends up inheriting a large plot of land that he eventually finds oil on. I was expecting him to rise from the shadows and become the focus of the movie towards the end, but it just didn't happen. The movie had established it's theme too rigidly by the time we see Dean strike oil.

It was a book-adaptation though, so it's not like they had a choice story-wise.

Anyhow, on to "There Will Be Blood". I really didn't get this movie when I first saw it back in 2007. I thought it was bland, and lacked story and emotional depth. Now I don't know exactly what happened in my brain since then, but when I watched it last night I sure did enjoy it. I found it riveting and incredibly deep; it also felt like reading a book, which made it very involving indeed.

Basically the movie follows a man who goes from prospector to oil-man in a very short amount of time, and then the movie slows down and we get to study the character and the changes he goes through. Ultimately, I'd say the movie is a statement against greed, but it also touches on shadow elements that Dr. Carl G. Jung discovered in his study of the human psyche.

Overall, watching the movie was incredibly inspirational and I wrote throughout it's entirety. The finished product of that inspiration is below, hope you enjoy.



The year was nineteen hundred and fifty two; the monogamous facade was in full swing. Through fear, people turned to their priests for protection and punishment.

Why anybody preached anything, especially in those days, was beyond me. I suspect they had to temper their fortune with it's own misfortune... guilt had a way of making you punish yourself, especially when you believed you deserved it. The thing I began to realize was this:
We all get what we deserve, but mostly, we get what we think we deserve.

I never lost any sleep.

I knew people, men mostly, who complained of insomnia. Sleeplessness that hung around you like death. On the bed, they said it even stank, but a man's gotta sleep, and the couch didn't cut it.
But me, I never lost any sleep. Men envied me for that, though the women said I was heartless. It didn't matter either way, I slept like a baby.
I had a coupe in those days, and I drove it like I was fucking it. In every street and alley I fucked that thing through the fastest possible routes. At the end of each day she was there to take home- a lousy piece of metal. Still, it was good on gas.

I also drank scotch in those days. Musky, caramel-colored scotch that tasted like a campfire. I was living for the future and scotch was a present-moment drink; it almost defied reason that I was drinking it, but I liked to pretend that my current situation (in those days) was worth savoring. In the end, it was my distinct tastes and idiosyncrasies that gave me away as a sub-par artist, statesman, God knew what. But it was there, in the obsessions... I'm sure any outside observer could have told you... I was too comfortable.

The Good Book

So I've stumbled across an amazingly fascinating read, one that really brings out my own beliefs in ways that are also insightful and edifying.

I've been looking through the library for books on philosophy and general views on life, and this is the first one that really began to speak to me. I think it's good to get your beliefs down so that you are able to stick to them. More often than not, we are confronted with the views and beliefs of society and conforming only serves as a means of surrendering our individuality and 'admitting' (albeit in delusion and/or fearfulness) that their beliefs are better. Instead, it is far better (for our own sake) to be firm in our beliefs though open in our exploration of life, and that, I believe, is what this book is all about.

So if you get the chance, browse through a copy at the library or online, begin to feel that unique signature of essence within you and begin to let it shine. 

"For if you adhere to your principles, those very persons who at first ridiculed you will afterwards admire you. But if you are conquered by them, you will incur a double ridicule. If you turn your attention to externals, so as to wish to please anyone, be assured that you will hinder your scheme of life. Be contented, then, in everything, devoted to living wisely, and it will suffice you. the question at the end of each day is, 'How long will you delay to be wise?' " 

- The Good Book

It's the "little" Things.

Hey everybody, what's up? Hope the week is treating you well thus far but even so, hope you have some great weekend plans. You know, there's nothing like a good weekend to make you absolutely HATE the week, and today it really hit me.

As I drove home, I saw an ad for "Juicy Fruit" gum in a bus stop and it jolted me back to last weekend when me and my brother were chillin' out. See, I decided to get some gum because I want to get back in the habit and I miss the taste of Juicy Fruit. So I go into the store and to my absolute HORROR, the gum is now sold as pieces (in the Dentine Ice style) rather than sticks.
Now...

THE WHOLE F***ING POINT OF BUYING JUICY FRUIT GUM IS TO HAVE GUM STICKS!!!

THIS:

Not This:

THIS:

Not This:

Seriously...
There is something awesome about sticks of gum, can't put my finger on it but they're like cigarettes. People who smoke despite the fear: smoke, those who fear cancer and death and all that, what do they do? That's right! They chew PIECES of GUM to try and "curb the addiction"...>>

Pieces of gum are perhaps the most un-artistc and lame version of the invention known as gum. They're too perfect, and besides, they look like pills.


In other news, as I was on my way home I saw a car that was parked but was signalling to get out, as I cautiously approached, I noticed that it actually had it's hazard lights on. Now, hazard lights are to signal that you should pass the car if you as so inclined. Usually, you see these kinds of lights on the side of the highway, or on cars that go slow through a snow storm or some such. But when a car is already parked? Fuck, I'm gonna pass it ANYWAY! Why put the lights on? If there were NO lights on, I would assume the car was parked and pass it! Honestly, I don't get some people or why they do things. I wonder, for example, what was going on through their head when they thought that would be a good idea? "hmmm, better put the hazard lights on so people won't think I'm just parked here..." >>

Anyhow, after that quirky moment I turned the corner and ran over a bouquet of flowers that someone discarded- seemed to fit the mood of the day.

I F***ing HATE Advertisements!

So... has anyone noticed the tone and style of ads these days? I'm unaware of when exactly it happened, or who was the first to employ the method, but it seems to me that ads are formatted in a most dangerous way.

Basically what they do is they present a scenario that is designed to trigger an emotion (this takes about 45-50 seconds in a 1-minute ad), then they mention the product they are trying to sell, either in passing at the end, or as an accomplice to the (usually) feel-good story/scenario or tone. The idea here ( I believe) is to get people to subconsciously assign the good feelings with the product, so that they effectively end up believing that they can't feel that way without the item. I find this appalling.

Now, I've always had a hatred for ads. If I wanted something, I'd find a way to buy it, there wasn't a problem with my own consumer code. The problem with ads is that they attempt to convince you that you actually do need what they're selling, and this is a huge problem, especially now that emotional bait is used.

People go along throughout the day bored, zoned-out, depressed, and generally hypnotized by a mass-media that makes it's money by fostering and even encouraging such states of awareness. The problem is that when I talk to people about how much I hate ads, they can't seem to have anything to say! Nothing! It's like they aren't even aware that ads are even on the radio, tv, or what have you!

What's worse is the kinds of advertisements I'm seeing nowadays, they seem to be aimed at the dumb and whimsical people of the world. Now, if a company wants to make money, it has to market towards a LARGE audience right? Therefore (I can only conclude) MOST people, are dumb and whimsical. It's sad.

When did people stop finding joy in themselves? The joy comes from "look what I bought!" instead of "look what I did/created!".

I don't know where we as a species are headed, but if the trend keeps up, I'm afraid humanity will be full of zombie-like citizens before long. And it's not some grand conspiracy like the theorists may claim, I believe it's simply man's lack of belief in himself.

Kant and the Hypocrisy of Morality.

I'd love to have a T-shirt that reads "I Survived Life" but I don't think that's possible, sadly we have to survive everything life throws at us save for the one thing that's responsible for it all in the first place. 

Don't get me wrong, there are ups and downs, but it'd be nice to get something from the experience is all...

Anyhow, I went to the library this last weekend in search of myself. Mainly I was looking to find anything that really spoke to me in terms of philosophy or ideologies; mostly I found books that piqued my interest but they did not ignite my passion.

One particular book I was reading was "Critique of Practical Reason" by Kant; in it, he states:

"If the determination of the will rests on the feelings of agreeableness or disagreeableness which [a person] expects from any cause, it is all the same to him through what kind of notion he is affected. The only thing he considers in making a choice is how great, how long-lasting, how easily obtained, and how often repeated this agreeableness is."

Bingo. See, I've been thinking about incentive and motivation for quite some time now. The old "carrot and stick" routine that society throws at us really doesn't interest me. In fact, just recently I realized I absolutely hate carrots and want nothing to do with them.

If my reward and/or incentive is not in my control, I'll invent one that is.

This all goes back to my beliefs on human beings and our immense power as individuals. The problem we have today (most of us) is that we allow other people to tell us what to do, what to want, and even what to think. 

I find this absurd, and ridiculous beyond measure.

The Hypocrisy of Morality.

Now I don't know who invented morality , but I've got a pretty good idea.

A long time ago, there was a great and powerful man who took what he wanted, did as he pleased, and none could stand up to him. 

The little people of the world decided that they had better take him down, lest they starve and die. So they banded together and killed the powerful man in a fit of self-defense one day while he was raiding their food stores.

Having achieved liberation, the little people rejoiced and relaxed and went about their lives. 

Then the little people began to use their power and influence to tell other people what to do. They told them how much they could eat, what roles they had in the tribe, and created all kinds of boundaries and myths to govern the even smaller people of the world.

Soon, instead of one man terrorizing the few, it was many terrorizing many more, and thus the cycle actually got worse instead of better.

The hypocrisy comes in if you consider that morality is based on a premise that goes something like this: 
"For the well-being of all, you must suffer."
That's basically it.

We (as a species) have traded quality for quantity. 

It makes no sense, further it is actually insane if you think about the ammount of suffering you actually increase every time you save some child from premature death in a third-world country (for example). The life full of disease and misery is allowed to continue, rather than end. In my opinion, that is known as torture. Especially when you add the satisfaction people get from their actions of charity. I'd almost suspect that we enjoy having people around who are "less-fortunate" than ourselves, simply so that we can see ourselves as the "fortunate" ones. It's quite sickening.

"For to him that is joined to all the living there is hope: for a living dog is better than a dead lion." - Ecclesiastes 9:4

I disagree. Better to be a dead lion, because you KNOW that his life was AWESOME!

That's all for now folks, keep up with me if you can, or send me a question or comment. 
  

Me and my cousin were supposed to go rafting, but the weather was a bit on the autumn side, so we went to the mountains. It’s funny, I remember my cousin told a girl at the gym we were going rafting, she’s like “down the river?” he’s like “No, up a mountain…” lol. So yeah, we went up the mountain, without a raft tho. We lost that thing to the pages of broken dreams, mostly however, we just had to get the hell outta dodge. So we went to the mountains, to Grand ol’ Craig’s restaurant and had a great breakfast. I drew a surreal sketch and my cousin drew one of his own. It was like a cannon firing in the foreground with a giant planet that made me think of an egg in the background, very cool. My picture was just a result of a technique I thought of. You draw something, turn the page around and in relation to what the new image looks like, you draw another thing, flip the page around and continue. It was a lot like constant inspiration spikes. I can see how one might get addicted to such things…

Anyhow, after an awesome breakfast we went on our way back home. But my cousin and I both longed to explore a mountain. We saw a good looking one in the distance and just had to turn off and follow the road that went up. So we got to the top of that and there’s a parking space. To the right of us: a path leading into the forest, to the left of us: a path leading to a bunch of cabins. So we decided to go there first. The place was like a ghost town, and I was actually surprised when the door opened to the main building, but not surprised to see the place empty and deserted. 

The whole place seemed deserted when we first got there.

It was like some weird movie, at any second zombies would surround us and we’d have to use our bare hands and the chairs in the lobby to fight them off. But alas, no such luck. What we did do, however, was go to the basement in which there was a game room. Old arcade machines hugged the walls on one side while an extremely old-looking Toshiba tv and some book shelves with Reader’s Digest and puzzles were on the other. But the middle of this room was what interested me the most, it had pool tables and a ping-pong table off to the side. 

Looked more like an old-folks' home than a resort...

I looked around for the pool balls and sticks but found nothing. Then: a sound… two women were coming downstairs. One was leading the other >>

Anyhow, they were old and I guess I startled them because when I said “Hi” they jumped. “I didn’t know anyone was down here” the one said,
“Neither did I.” I responded. We talked of the resort:
“So, what is this place?” I asked.
They responded by explaining that the place was a ski resort, but the owners had put the slope on the wrong side of the mountain so it didn‘t catch any snow (at least, not enough for a ski hill), so the glory days ended abruptly and pathetically. Now it was just a time share “But you can rent too!” she offered.

I asked where I could get the pool equipment, and they directed me to the front desk. So we said goodbye and I sat down to read a very old looking book about the real estate market in the mountains >>

Poor fools, if only they had known that they wouldn’t be getting any snow. Course, you’d think they’d have researched and studied the ‘ideal location’ before labeling it as such, but I guess not…
Anyhow, when my cousin comes around the corner I ask if he wants to play pool, but says he’d rather play ping-pong. So we do. I go to the desk and get the stuff, and we play the game. What a blast. I’ve never played ping-pong but damn, what fun! We fooled around for a bit then Brandon tells me that he remembers some of the rules >>
So yeah, I lost both games after that, but it was still fun. Halfway through the game there’s this robotic cleaning girl going around cleaning things. She even used table cleaner on the seat cushions >>

Whatever, so we left and chuckled all the way back to the car. We got there and decided to climb the mountain. 

This was gonna be epic because the path in question had been closed due to the fact that it passed through Big-Horn Sheep country. There were warnings but they mentioned how the sheep were only around winter and spring and it was summer motherfuckas! So we entered the wild and took our climb. We passed some old couple that were on their way back which gave me a shot of confidence because if two old people could survive the vicious and evil nature of these primordial beasts then my cousin and I would be laughing all the way up the mountain. At any rate it was a great hike. At some point we’re talking about mountain bikes and as though the universe were listening to us, another older (though not as old as the first) couple came behind us on bikes. We say hi and ask them something and the guy says “we’ll see” or something like that as he trails his wife, and that’s the last we see of them until a few moments later. We turn the corner and see them going up a hill. They disappear and then re-emerge, on their way down.

“No good?” I ask.
“Too much like work.” the guy (who was in front this time) grunts.
“He’s not used to it.” his wife offers.

We chuckle. Life is funny when you can see it.

Anyhow, we continue up the mountain and I light a cigarette, taking extra care to put the ashes out on wet or rocky ground lest I start a fire and have to deal with Smokey the Bear. Puffing as we walk I am enjoying myself immensely. My cousin walks to the edge of a cliff and we look at the river below. Just epic.

We never got to the top because it got steep and we didn’t want to be gone too long. 

Cool view through the trees on the path.

So we head back and get to the car. On our way back to the highway we decide to stop and get water at a gas station. Well, we weren’t there for more than 15 minutes and we notice that (as we head back to the highway) the long-weekend campers are lined up and moving sluggishly back to the city. Fire trucks and ambulances roar towards the head of the line and when we finally get there, we see a truck and his towed camper flipped over on the side of the road. How he pulled that off is beyond me, but once past it it’s smooth sailing.

So, that's it for today! Incidentally I do apologize for the picture quality, I'll be getting a better camera soon  so bear with me in the mean time!