Desperate Times Call For Desperate Feathers...

It's true what they say, about the urban jungle- It's a mess of concrete, steel, and rubber, slowly decomposing through the mundane ins and outs of everyday existence. I passed a sign that endorsed our new highway that runs in a circle around the city, and thought of all the poor souls running round and round that thing till the road disintegrates or till their wheels fall off; and in the center of this wonderful metropolis, jam-packed like sardines, are business people and corporate goons chasing their own tails of greed and ambition. 

Maybe it's the ambition of man that has allowed him to flourish, the will and drive to do more than simply survive; to chase the dreams and delusions of grandeur. This growth-obsession, to go beyond nature, is what threatens nature itself. I'm sure if the animals could talk their news cast would be something along the lines of 

"Humans Move Further Inland! Thousands Evacuated."

The human expansion phenomenon is in full throttle, and while the urge to broaden our horizons does seem to be a natural human trait, so does the dark deal it has with self-destruction. It would seem that the more advanced we get, the more we leave ourselves behind. The only hope for our furry brethren now is to adapt human traits, and I believe I saw progress on that front the other day.

As I was returning home from work I saw a bird eating it's brother on the road. The dead fowl couldn't care less of course, but what of the other? Certainly times weren't as harsh as to warrant cannibalism, but that is just what was happening. Perhaps the bird couldn't be bothered to go to the local field where he usually ate, or perhaps he saw it as a way to get ahead in the neck-and-neck competition for territory and food privileges. We'll never know, but in a hundred years or so, I'd say the animals will have come a long way. Survival is a powerful instinct.

Jessica Simpson... and Why I Wouldn't Fuck Her in the Ass...

So I think Jessica Simpson is cute, and have for quite some time. I remember when I first saw her on "The Dukes of Hazzard" poster back in '05, and how I thought to myself "Wow, what a woman!" Only years later did I actually see clips of the movie on tv; found it to be too "southern" for my tastes, and found Jessica Simpson's character, Daisy, to be lacking in substance. I guess I was hoping for more than a marketing ploy to get people to watch a movie, but I've learned my lesson since then. 

Anyhow, I've since watched her music video "These Boots Are Made For Walkin" and found it to be outright sexy. I don't like the song itself, but the moves Jessica puts on are incredible. It's hard to find a female performer who isn't afraid to be what she is: a woman. It's even harder to find one where the girl actually seems to be enjoying her state as a sexual creature, rather than using it as yet another marketing ploy, which "The Dukes of Hazzard" producers did with the video in question... but I digress, what does all this have to do with anal sex?

Well, for me at least, anal is the cherry on top of the cake when it comes to a relationship. If I were to break it down, it'd go something like this: Oral is expected, pussy is a given, and anal is the cherry. That wonderful, tight little cherry. For years I had thought I just wanted anal as a default when it came to my relationships, but I've begun to notice something; It would appear that some women bring that desire out in me, while others seem to shut it down. It solidified itself when I was watching Jessica Simpson's music video (mentioned above), I noticed that her legs (and I've always been a leg man) were disproportionate to her body... like, it looks like she works out, but only her legs, which makes them bulky-looking. Then there's the fact that her legs are on the short side, which never helps matters. It's a shame really, but alas, even if I did ever end up with Jessica (riiight), the possibility of anal would be out the window. Unless of course she wanted to make the issue into a marketing ploy to save her reputation by paying me to do it, but I think she's just fine where she is. 

Now, I'm not saying I find her any less attractive (I know, "lol, wut?") what I am saying is that the way she's built just turns me off of anal. It's just one of those things.

Let's Stay Inside...

So... winter is here... again... it's the first big snow of the year (more than 12") and let me tell you, it's not very fun to live in such a climate. Seriously, I'm driving to work this morning through the apocalypse; my car windshield fluid doesn't come out, so I had to stop half-way there and let the snowfall accumulate on my windshield before I could use the wipers to clean the damn thing off.

Now I don't know how many of you work outside, but I do, and let me tell you, when it's snowing this hard, it's hard to get anything done. You have to sweep your work area off every three seconds, and you just fight the weather all day long. Not to mention that it's -57,000 F outside! I mean really, who decided to build a city here? For that matter, why didn't the early colonists just leave the 'new world' the INSTANT a winter storm hit? Hell, if it was me I'd have been like "Are you fucking kidding me?! I'm outta here." and get back on the ship and go back to England, or wherever. I just can't figure out why people CHOSE to live in one of the most ridiculous climates ever. Why not live in Antarctica if you like snow so much? Oh that's right, 'cause there's nothing BUT snow there. Well let me tell you: in a Canadian winter, there's nothing but snow here EITHER.

Anyhow, rant rant... so yeah, I also spoke to my cousin the other day about eating, and he just can't figure me out when it comes to anything (the poor guy actually tries), but this time, we got on the topic of eating and I mentioned how I think eating is stupid. I mean seriously, let's take time out of our lives to sit around and process objects with our teeth so that we can pass it to our stomach so that we don't die. Life is weird man, and I am very opposed to doing anything that I HAVE to do. It's one of those pet-peeves if you will, I strongly oppose doing anything that I have to do. This includes eating. Don't get me wrong, I don't starve myself (I'm actually attempting to develop a 6,000 calorie/200g of protein diet for myself so that I can work out more consistently and see steady gains) but I mean really, the whole exercise is annoying to me, and takes soooo much time that I'd rather spend elsewhere. What's even worse, is when they put this eating thing in movies... I mean, what's worse than spending time eating? Watching other people spend time eating... and then, lo and behold, the movie goer is hungry and goes somewhere to eat afterward...

ANYhow... one of the things I was really thinking about today is breaking up routine. I think that people as a whole don't break up their routines in POSITIVE ways. I mean sure, the snow storm broke up my routine today, but that's hardly an event I'd like to duplicate. Then there's any other thing that comes into our lives and fucks us over one way or another. It's no wonder people fear breaking routine and cling as best they can to their mundane lives. It would seem we've been trained to stay sheltered and locked-in to the familiar. 

However, it is my belief that if we could break routine willingly and for the better, that we'd actually loosen up a bit more; and so, that is exactly what I'm going to do tonight. I'm taking a break from everything, even the things that I usually do to relax. I hope it has a positive effect. At the very least, it can't be as bad as the snow storm.

Peace out homies!

Dream Journal - 1/5/2013

So I had an interesting dream last night; it was definitely an element of my shadow.

In it I was none other than Hank Moody from ShowTime's "Californication". 

Me and a girl (I assume my anima) were on our way to meet with Rza about a movie he was making. Turns out, he didn't have enough money to put it out, and all the studios had cut off his funding, so he turned to me for the extra cash. We sat in his trailer around a table (Me and a girl, Rza and a girl) and talked about the movie extensively. Afterwards, it was agreed that I'd help him and Rza was happy. 

He then went off to set the thing in order while I waited outside the trailer. When he returned, however, he looked angry. He stepped close to me and I backed up a bit. As if sensing the fear, Rza continued to move forward until I fell into the door opening on the trailer. He pounced on top of me accusing me of something (can't remember what) but while he did so, it felt like his feet were clasped around my balls and the pain was getting worse and worse as I tried to reason with him. Rza seemed unaware that he was causing the pain and simply took my growing discomfort as my own guilt. Then I woke up.

The Weekend...

So today I hung out with my brother again. We went to our Grandparent's house and chatted with them for a while before going to the movie "Django Unchained", and what a film it was. Despite Christoph Waltz portraying his character almost exactly as he did his "Inglourious Basterds" one, it was quite riveting, but not necessarily in a good way. The film was tense at many times, and almost unbearable at others. It deals with cruelty, and doesn't apologize for it, but, it doesn't just show it either, it seems to shove it in your face. Leonardo DiCaprio is absolutely insane as a southern plantation owner, and his character keeps most of that tension I spoke of in the air.

Anyhow, after surviving Django, we went to meet our grandparents at "Luigi's Steakhouse" for pizza and wine. 

 

I like what they did with the place. I was at that very same location over 10 years ago, and it was dingy, cheap-looking, and run down. The pictures don't do it justice, but they really classed the place up. If I lived near there, I'd go there all the time, but alas my grandparents live 2 hours away from where I do!

Anyhow, we had a good time and me and my brother went home.

The Coffee-Philosophers.

So I went for coffee with my brother this morning. He's a fun guy to chat with, and we both have similar views on art and movies. As a matter of fact, we both have our eyes set on making movies one day, and he's actually going to school for directing pretty soon. He's also got an awesome blog located here 
for anyone who'd like to see an off-the-hook movie blog. Seriously, he's pretty out there, and swears like a drunken sailor while giving you his opinions about whatever he wants to talk about.

Anyhow we talked about movies and art and how movies and video games are trying too hard to appeal to the widest audience possible. It's a shame really, the more "free" people become, the more (it would seem) they get shallow and enjoy only the most cliche and dull forms of entertainment. My personal opinion is that people are bored and have all but given up on life. What is needed is some excitement, and that is pretty much what me and my brother want to do with our movies. Bring back the shocking and controversial form of art. Course by the time we get into films, controversial might be illegal.

There's a huge problem when you can't laugh at yourself, and this becomes "offense". The thing is, you can take anything the way you want to so, really, if someone says something about you and you take it as an insult, you've basically insulted yourself. Nothing's bad unless you decide it is, and I wish people would know and exercise that instead of adding hundreds of laws to the "politically-correct bible" to keep everyone feeling good about themselves. But again, there's a catch: if you don't feel good about yourself, you won't feel better if no one says anything about you, and (unless you want people to lie to you) you're out of luck until you accept yourself the way you are. Again, not till the world, your family, or other people accept who you are, YOU have to do the accepting, and then, as if by magic, you won't care even if people DO hate you.

To illustrate this point best I'd like to direct you fine folks to the following videos of one of my favorite comedians, Don Rickles. The thing about Don is he has fun, and sometimes that can mean he gets controversial, but you can sure tell when he encounters people who are completely fine with a little ball-busting, take a look:

Now in that one, he busts on David Letterman, Filipinos, his wife, and so on. Letterman does try to get Rickles to tone it down at various points, but I have the suspicion that it's only due to television censorshiop obligations, and NOT because Letterman himself wants Don to "keep it decent". The guy is having a great time, and it shows. 

In this next clip we see the same thing, only this time with Denzel Washington who, despite being the subject of a few racist jokes, is laughing his HEAD off, and I can't imagine him being sore or "hurt" at any point during the relentlessly funny foray of the Don.

This final clip is taken from when Don Rickles gave a toast to Martin Scorsese,  and once again, "Mr. Warmth" shows his respect and admiration for people with his humor. 

It has been said that the only time people feel insulted by Mr. Rickles, is when he doesn't insult them. Imagine that.

Dream Journal - 12/28/2012

So last night I had such a weird dream. I was in a hall of sorts- Not a hallway, but like a grand Hall building where community leaders meet or something like that. I was there with various members of my family and co-workers. Apparently, the place was under some kind of renovation.

Anyhow, I kept going around, exploring, mostly as an excuse to dodge work. I even got called out on my laziness at some point, but it was just too interesting for me to ignore the things going on. I remember people carrying something away (I think they had unearthed it at the far end of the hall) and it might have been an elephant carcass. Anyhow, As I watched them carry this thing out, I went around one of the tables, and it was actually a large log of wood; they had forced a live tiger to bite around the log, so that he was essentially prisoner to the log via his mouth. His exposed teeth were huge, and they were going to cut the teeth off, to make him less dangerous I guess. The tiger just stared forward fearlessly, and even contained as he was (there were four guys holding his body still, two holding his head to the log, and two others ready to cut the teeth), I still felt great respect for it's power.

That's all I can remember, but afterward I looked up some tiger pictures online and found a few that I really liked, hope you enjoy!