The Unconscious Wager.

How many times have you had a feeling or intuition that needed itching? Like a secret desire you needed to satisfy? I know I have.

For me, this comes in the form of looking for a movie with a plot or theme that matches what I feel. I have this urge to find something that matches my internal state, and I proceed to search in the hopes of finding it. I do assume this is much like a drug user who seeks a fix. He feels a certain way inside and then begins to crave a substance that will compliment the feeling. Much study has been made into addictions such as that and it has been shown that what is really going on is the addict is missing something in their own life experience, so they turn to the drug to fill the gaping hole in themselves.

Now, most of us draw the line at drugs or perhaps smoking or overeating, but my latest realization is that when we feel these urges that seemingly NEED to be coupled with an external thing (be it a drug or a movie), this is in fact our creative mind trying to tell us we have something to share with the world.

I can not tell you the number of times I've had this feeling and looked desperately for a movie or song that would give me back the essence I felt leaking from my soul but couldn't find it. It was as if I knew exactly what I wanted the movie to be about or the song to feel like and yet couldn't find one that delivered on my wants, and I couldn't find one ANYWHERE, no matter how hard I looked.

It wasn't till a few weeks ago that I realized what was happening.

Think of it like this:

Your unconscious mind has an idea, and it wants to share it with the world. The Ego then steps in and says "Wait a minute! I think that's been done already." to which the unconscious replies "You think you can find something as good as this? Go ahead, show me!" and then we proceed to look for something that fits EXACTLY what we're looking for. However, because the issue is now in the hands of the Ego, we get frustrated when we cannot find what we're looking for (because the Ego hates to be wrong) and more often than not, we simply curse the outside world for not having what we want. When really, if we just took a step back, we'd know we had the answer all along.

Imagine, if you will, you're decorating your house. You call an interior designer and they show you the different decorating schemes their company does. As you look through the pictures, you notice they don't have what you want. You get frustrated and either settle on a design that's kinda like what you wanted, or you let them go and try to find another interior designer who's vision is more in line with your own. My suggestion is this: Hire an interior designer who does CUSTOM work, and then you can tell them EXACTLY what you want, which is all you're trying to do anyhow.

Bob Dylan, is another example. When asked how he was able to make such good songs, he simply replied "I make songs that I want to listen to." I believe that every artist recognizes, at least to some degree, that their desire to see something, feel something, or experience something, can only be satisfied by their own internal creativity. Therefore, if we recognize this creative burst the next time we feel it, instead of looking outward for what we desire, if we proceed to create it, I believe our artistic expression will be revealed as the source, for it is what will be satisfied many times over.

Art, I believe, is life.

My cousin once said that "If you're not making art, you're not living." and I believe it's true. If we look at the way most people think about living today, it's experiencing things. Sky diving, traveling the world, and things like that. We are chronically drawn to outward things, giving them great praise, importance, or status, without ever considering ourselves as worthy of the same. Even the most spectacular building was once an idea in an architect's head. So, too, do each and every one of us have such well-springs waiting to be discovered.