Boys Don't Cry

So, I've finally completed my playlist "Boys Don't Cry" inspired by the movie of the same name. I recommend you watch the movie before listening to my list. The effect of the music without the film will be different, and so will the effect of my playlist. There will be spoilers in this post as well, so do yourself a favor and watch the movie then come back once you have.

 

Now for some background: it was because of Hilary Swank's outstanding performance in "Million Dollar Baby" (for which she won her second Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role) that led me to seek out her other films. It wasn't long before I discovered that she won her First Oscar for a Leading Role because of her amazing portrayal of Teena Brandon in the movie "Boys Don't Cry".

Upon watching the film, I was awestruck, and sat dumbfounded on the couch as the credits rolled. The movie is simply perfect in every aspect of the word. What struck me most, however, was the complete sense of destiny the movie inspired. Not destiny in the sense that it's usually used (if we follow our hearts, everything will be ok, yadda yadda) what it really embodied was the total realism of what a life is. It's the choices we make, the mentality we have, and everything about us. Life is a product of ourselves. More correctly: OUR life is a product of ourselves. It's a product of what we do, who we interact with, and what we choose for ourselves. This, the movie represented in perfect harmony.

I became obsessed with the film over the next few days, and watched it a total of 3 more times in 2 weeks. Soon, what was resonating with me beyond the story, the acting, and the feeling of the film, was the music- The method used by director Kimberly Peirce to tie the characters and situations together, and I must say she did an excellent job. The songs in "Boys Don't Cry" seem to simultaneously be attributed to the situations or characters in the story while also being a product of them.

It's as if the music created itself while the characters lived out certain situations, but it emerged for them while also only emerging because of them. A singular point of self-creation that immediately revels and glorifies the reason it was brought into existence.

That is how I experienced the movie, and what was so hard to understand at first. What I did for almost every day during those 2 weeks was listen to the music from the film; I also had a growing feeling inside of me that wanted to express itself. Much like the music emerging from the movie, something inside of me was emerging because of the music, and this familiar feeling was a familiar sign that I was developing an artistic project within me. This time, it was a playlist.

I often create playlists to tell a story. I use the songs as the driving force, and make a story arch or metaphor within them. I'm sure there are many people who do this, and if you are one of them, I'm sure you'll appreciate what satisfaction can come from creating something entirely new and fresh with meaning from things that have established their own meaning already. I like to think of it like grafting plants together.

Now, I knew for certain that I wanted to use a few key songs from the movie (the ones that really captured and drove the film), but I also wanted to add some of my own picks because, to be honest, the playlist felt incomplete when I simply arranged the songs from the film in the order I wanted. It was a prototype, and was shouting for me to complete it.

Below is the complete "Boys Don't Cry" playlist and you can click on the songs to listen.

Boys Don't Cry:

1. Just What I Needed by The Cars

2. Secret by Madonna

3. Losing My Religion by Nina Persson

4. Hard Sun by Eddie Vedder

5. Devil's Got a Gun by Whitehorse

6. The Bluest Eyes in Texas by Nina Persson

7. Boys Don't Cry by The Cure

8. Rebel Rebel by David Bowie

Over the next few days I scoured youtube for the kinds of songs I was looking for. I started with songs I knew well (a safe bet) songs like "Try" by Nellie Furtado. I know for certain I'll use this song in a future playlist, but it didn't fit right for this one. It seemed too hopeless in a lot of ways. If there's a strong feeling I got from "Boys Don't Cry" it was that there is a strong drive in everyone, and this drive has been called love. Love is the pinnacle of the movie. Love in it's sadness, love in it's joy, love in it's hope for the future. So I kept searching, but eventually it became clear to me that the songs I knew well were not going to work. How could familiarity capture the explosion of discovery I had experienced from such a movie? I realized that it couldn't. So I searched for music that was recommended along with the songs that had been in the movie.

While doing that I had a sudden epiphany to use Madonna's "Secret". Just listen to it and you'll see, it's simply magical. It's almost like Lana sings it to Brandon. It also has an incredible pace that feels like hypnotism.

Eventually, I found "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M. and this song seemed to fit very well. It was a kind of celebration of sorts. Very nice and comfortable tune. I was about to include it but then I discovered Nina Persson's cover of the song, and once I heard it, I was mesmerized. She had done the song "The Bluest Eyes in Texas" for the film's soundtrack, so it fit even better. Almost as if the same character from the musical story was singing both of the songs. It was a perfect match.

The next song I found was "Hard Sun" by Eddie Vedder. I've been meaning to add this to a playlist of mine for some time, but haven't been able to find the right one. It's not a song that can play a central role. If anything, it simply clarifies what you're trying to convey. Like the moment where you realize something beautiful, and immediately revel in it's beauty. Much like the music in the movie. I do like this song though, it's like the inner light shining in a world that fears such expression. Maybe even from what people fear in themselves. I think people often see their own inner life as a darkness or something to be ashamed of, so we try to hide it with how we appear outwardly to people, and this was definitely a huge theme in "Boys Don't Cry".

The final song I added is called "Devil's Got a Gun" and it's a new one, which didn't fit the time period I was trying to stay in, but it just meshed so well. Aside from how it feels, I love the lyrics. First of all, it follows "Hard Sun" perfectly, second of all, it's speaking of the Shadow ("The Devil" was society's expression of their collective Shadow elements back when religion ran the show).

From there, I had realized the elusive instinct that had been sitting in the back of my mind since I saw the movie.